A Quick Hit Off the Ideabong
Troubled Tracey asks : My best friend has been with a guy on a long distance relationship for about 5 months now. I met him before and even talk to him through email and we became fast friends. Whenever we talk he is so sweet to my best friend and I think: Yeah, they are the perfect couple. This is where it gets difficult, because my friend started dating another guy. I have been thinking about telling the long distance relationship guy, but then I’m afraid that my best friend would feel betrayed by me if I told. But on the other hand, I feel like the long distance relationship guy should know also. Or should I just ignore all this because its none of my business? I really don’t know what to do, please help me.
Ideabong says: I was wondering when someone would ask me that!!! This is a very common yet complicated situation. No one seems to put the problem in the right context. Your friend is behaving in a way that you think is ethically unsound. You know you could save a decent person some hardship by blowing the whistle on your friend. I totally understand… up to this point. But, then you don’t know what to do, and ask if it is any of your business. That is where you lost me. How is it wrong in this situation to save the decent guy from future hardships? Clearly you are afraid of losing the friend. Personally, I’d be more worried about not losing the friend. Your friends are who tell the world who you are, and shitty people as friends tell the world that you’re shitty, the same way that excellent people as friends tell the world you are excellent. What about telling your friend to make it right with decent guy on pain of losing you as a friend, because you really can’t stand to watch good people get treated poorly, and furthermore that you don’t need dishonest people as friends? Is it perhaps because this friendship is strategic? You need this friends so that you can have other friends? You may be afraid that standing up to this friend over an issue of character will cost you socially. Will she become catty and seek to destroy your other friendships? You may be afraid that ”best friend” will launch an insidious whisper campaign aimed at casting you out of your group. She may state that you apply your makeup without taste. She may spread rumours that you purchase your clothing at the Sally Ann. Perhaps she will steal your boyfriend, or worse accuse you of being after the decent guy yourself. On second thought, I don’t think I can help you, but I do wish you luck in belonging to that gender. It is simpler being a guy (bong).
