A Couple of Hits off The Ideabong
A.S.H. asks: Is the rest of the population worth meeting? Do I need to leave Nipissing?
Ideabong says: No and Yes. Not everyone on the planet deserves the honour of knowing you, and the people that do deserve it, will be happier knowing that they are in a semi-exclusive club. You do need to leave Nipissing at some point, if you haven’t already. The perspective you gain will help you realize that all the finest characters are, in fact, in and about the Nipissing area.
Shygirl asks: Dear Ideabong, I am 26 years old and I have been painfully shy my whole life, to the point where I have panic attacks around strangers and people I don’t know very well. I can even get shy uncomfortable around people that I do know. It almost feels crippling at times, especially as I’m getting older and career wise. I feel very limited to what jobs I can do because I’m afraid that I might have a panic attack. Do you have any suggestions that might help me stay calm and get used to socializing? Please, I could really use your help.
Ideabong says: You did the right thing by getting in touch with me Shygirl. I happen to have similar experience in my past, so I feel your pain. When I was a very young bong, I played hockey. I had very good skills, and played very well in practice and amongst friends, but something happened to me in actual games when I touched the puck… I froze. I couldn’t see anything but the puck, and everything else became a blur. As soon as I had the puck… I felt like all the attention was on me, my vision closed in, and I was too nervous to take a shot, or make a pass. It made for some hockey bloopers I can assure you. I was constantly wondering why I could play really well amongst friends, but not against a team of people I didn’t know, in front of a crowd of strangers. I realized the whole problem boiled down to the difference I perceived between people that were my friends and people I did not know. I realized that in all likelihood, there was no difference at all, the people I did not know would have been my friends, had I met them and gotten to know them. It became clear to me that strangers are just people I hadn’t made friends with yet. I could not think of any reason that strangers would see me any differently than my friends did, who had taken the time to get to know me, and liked me for exactly who I was. Once I was able to see strangers as friends I hadn’t met yet, I was fine. It takes some work to make this breakthrough though. What you need to do is think about how your current friends see you, especially what it is that they like about you. If you need to, ask your friends to remind you of what they like about you, and why it is worth being friends with you. Do this until you truly believe it. When you no longer doubt the wonderful things your friends say to you, and about you, you will remember that strangers are no different, on average, than your friends. Your friends hold the key, and I suspect that you have friends that would be only too eager to remind you of why they treasure your friendship. Take care Shygirl, and remember how amazin’ you are.
