Ideabong Speaketh…
Noseplugs asks: I belong to a church group, and one of the ladies practically bathes in perfume, some of the ladies have actually quit because of this, due to allergies (one even had to go to the doctor). Should I tell her that her perfume is making us sick?
Ideabong says: I am unfamiliar with the internal dynamics of groups of church women, but one assumption that has always served me well, is that you all join such groups for the purpose of getting your noses in each other’s business and hen-pecking each other half to death. Rather than correcting my original assumption, I will make a further assumption… that you do not belong in a church ladies group, as clearly, you are unable to get your nose in this smelly woman’s business to do a little pecking at her. Perhaps you should quit the church group. Another assumption that I felt pretty comfortable with is that a church lady would never ask a bong for advice; that assumption has been discarded.
Bill S asks: I just came across an email address for an old girlfriend – one I treated very badly. Now both she and I are currently happily married, and I don’t want to get back with her, but my conscience has been bothering me. Should I write and apologize?
Ideabong says: First off, I’m not sure what you mean by “treated badly”. Did you beat the crap out of her? Or, did you merely break her heart? Because I’m confused by the vagueness of your question, let’s get this one into the capable hands of Oscar Wilde. He said: “I always like to know everything about my new friends, and nothing about my old ones.” He also said: “Illusion is the first of all pleasures”. There is nothing worse than someone coming out of your past, and destroying your illusions about it, and people do tend to create illusions about their pasts… it’s how people stay sane. Regardless of whether you laid the boots to her, or whether she suffered from a case of unrequited love, if she is currently happy, she is likely to be over it. If she has forgotten about you, as a bad memory, you’d open up her wounds with the apology that she may not need for her own sake. Therefore, on that level, before proceeding, be sure you aren’t doing it for your own selfish reasons. If you are… don’t.
